:: oh the so-called ADULTS ::

ah, finally...

I really need to think seriously about this.

such a bother eh?

why can't we let it flow just they way it is?

though it may be pointless, wouldn't it be better than forcing something that we didn't really like?

oh, God... can I ask You to make it slower?

I barely notice anything around me lately.

the new routine based on the so-called 'procedure' has turned me into something I, myself, don't even recognize anymore...

should I blame someone else?

cause I don't even have the right to say what's right or wrong in my own life now...

sound so selfish, uh? then what am I to always be the victim of this endless cycle?

where to go?

what's the definition of 'being happy' anyway?

since I can't just fulfill my own desire but 'theirs' too nonetheless...

what's the point & meaning of 'standing on your own' then? If there are actually people who hold my strings from above, controlling me like a freaking puppet...

this is so frustrating.

should I just follow what's been ordered before? so I can just get out of here sooner...

words of the day : the ceremony.

wrote this : hearing the annoying sounds from my bro's cellphone. -_-

listening to : Leona Lewis - Happy

mood : WHADDAYA THINK???

:: when you BELIEVE ::

oh... I heck LOOOVEEE and ADOOOREEE this song and these super divass~~ XD

the song is very inspirational and their vocals are just GREAT!

Many nights we've prayed,

With no proof anyone could hear.

In our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understood...

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could...

There can be miracles, when you believe...

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve,

When you believe, somehow you will.

You will when you believe...

In this time of fear,

When prayers so often prove(s) in vain

Hope seems like the summer birds

Too swiftly flown away...

Yet now I'm standing here,

My heart's so full I can't explain

Seeking faith and speaking words

I never thought I'd say...

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe..

They don't always happen when you ask

And it's easy to give in to your fears

But when you're blinded by your pain

Can't see your way straight throught the rain

A small but still resilient voice,

Says hope is very near..

There can be miracles

When you believe

Though hope is frail

It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles,you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will (somehow,somehow, somehow)

somehow you will

You will when you believe

You will when you

You will when you believe

Just believe...in your heart

Just believe

You will when you believe~

Always. Keep. The. Faith

words of the day : seeking faith and keeping it deep in my deepest heart.

wrote this : while reading the lyric and I got goosebumps all over again.

listening to : Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston - When You Believe

mood : inspired.

:: a new BEGINNING? ::

I do believe in second chance.

I do... like I always do believe in my stupid curiosity.

but things sometimes don't go the way we want it, right?

even if we want something unchanged, they would eventually change, right?

as for me, whose ego is bigger than the others, would I finally find the courage to leave and let go that something that maybe wouldn't be mine anymore?

I accidentally misheard English as Korean. lol. :p

I really hope thought they were dancing to Mirotic. ;___;

words of the day : period kills.

wrote this : straight after waking up from my nap & downloading JYJ's ayy girl from YouTube.

listening to : JYJ - Ayy Girl

mood : pissed off without any particular reason...

:: i TRY to understand ::

I can't understand anything.

when it seems like the world is just too easy to get misinterpreted.

but this is too frightening.

the simplicity is a... new? thing for me, I guess.

despite my addiction of living a simple life, I know somewhere deep in my heart, I have been longing for some challenges which are nowhere near to where I am standing on now...

oh, a few days ago... or maybe weeks, dunno... can't remember...

I was chatting with my friend, who has moved out of my city 5? 4? years ago and ugh, I miss her a lot... T_T

she asked about my plan of the future. lol. Everyone seems like asking that to me too often... and I don't even improve on answering their question.

So... I just answered plainly... like I used to.

I told her the university that I'd like to go to, the job that I want to get and so on...

That was when she typed something that made me think a bit 'deeper' than usual...

'Yea... school, then college, after that get a job, find someone good and get married, stop working cause we'd be the ones raising kids at home, and then... what? All of the education that we have to pass just to reach that 'stage' of communicating with the community or to be actually 'attending' the world's stupid cycle would all vanish because of the reality that we are women.

Home and family. We don't even need to be Einstein-smart to be a wife... who can clean, cook and stay at home without getting bored. Instead, IF we were really Einstein-smart, we probably wouldn't be capable of doing all that. You know... staying at home, waiting for our husband to come home... boring, ne?'

And oh... commitment word just get more and more distant from my hands.

:/

I don't understand.

Getting tied doesn't sound good in my ears...

Or maybe it is just that I am not mature enough to understand the meaning at all.

words of the day : let's go travelling around the world.! I wanna go! Alone!

wrote this : in the hot and stuffy living room.

listening to : Tohoshinki - Tea for Two

mood : sleepy!

:: dearest FAITH ::

OKAY!

ready & ACTION!!!

this... IS IT... and urgh, I sound exactly like MJ... -_-

these past days have been a very ever-changing moment for me.

I turned emotional one day and went insane the next one.

So many feelings flying across my room and I couldn't help but just laugh at them...

Duh... I just hope this fun of youth won't get messed up because of the tasks that I have to do as a student.

and oh!! ... I successfully 'infected' my dearest friends with the love for the boys. :p

I feel happy but pity them at once, more or less.

since they just barely know them and then... they already have to face the heart-breaking situation where there is just this tiny hope of seeing them as five again. FIVE people... on stage that made them fall in love and drool... XD

I guess the infection started from when I watched the 3rd Bigeast Fanclub meeting with my classmates who were mostly girls... hormonal ones. lol.

They were even biased from the start.

And out of my expectation... no one was 'committed' to JaeJoong. Guess they were feeling threatened of his beauty? :3

Upon hearing the news of the three's new Int'l album, many of them are heart-broken.

Still... I really want to shout at them not to give up.

Cause that tiny hope ... that tiny little hope that is hiding behind the curtain of uncertainty is the one that I'm counting on. I am still hoping and believing in my own faith now...

As I feel the fate tightening its arms around me that I won't be able to run away ever again from this wish. This wish to see those smiles that I once adored and I'd be extremely pleased to see those beautiful angel's marks once again on their gorgeous faces.

words of the day : I'm falling apart because of you. But I love this feeling... :3

wrote this : while hearing my mom's gossiping with her friend. and distracting my brother's dinner.

listening to : -

mood : HOPEFUL~ (omg... I can't post a colorful post anymore~~ ;___;, something's wrong with my blog)